Why Furby is Evil

And no, it's not because it costs $60 (?!?!).

Thomas has to leave the room every time the Furby commercial comes on. And it's not even because I'm trying to convince him that there is no way that thing can possibly be worth that much of my hard earned money. (Although seriously? There is no way I would pay that much for that thing. If you are planning to, I'm not judging you, I'm just saying that's too much for something they are gonna play with for 30 hours and then be over it)

No, if it's one of my boys and a phobia, you know there has to be some hilarious back story to it. Because, let's face it, I am pretty darn good at creating ridiculous phobias in my children!

So what happened was, when Thomas and Steven were toddlers (probably around 3 and 4), we drug down all my old stuffed animals from the attic. And in the bin was my old Furby. Steven of course fell in love with it because it was a stuffed animal. Yes, he has very high standards for judging stuffed animals to love and never part with. Something along of the lines of a) is it somewhat soft and b) do I already own the exact same thing (note - variations of even the slightest degree from an already owned and loved stuffed animal qualify it as "different" and therefore eligible for being adopted into the stuffed animal herd).

Anyway, we tried to make Furby work again. Cleaned the contacts, new batteries, I think my Dad might have even gotten into its "guts" and worked on the circuit board in an effort to make Furby work. But Furby just wasn't having it after a decade of living in a Rubbermaid bin in the attic. So we resigned ourselves to the fact that Furby just wasn't going to do cool stuff and went on about life.

But Furby had other plans.

At some point we noticed that Thomas was avoiding the room that Furby (Now renamed "Kirby", sorry to my dear cousin Kirby who is not, in any way evil) now lived in. And that, in fact, he would walk around the dresser and distance himself as far as possible from Kirby at all times. Kirby was living in my kids' playroom over at Nona and PawPaw's house. We call it "The Land of Yes" for a reason, so there were any number of things on that dresser that could have been the source of the phobia. But it was pretty much confirmed that Kirby was the root of the problem when Steven got it down to play with and Thomas came running out of the room like a cat on a 3am crack high.

Well if you know Steven, you know what happened next.

Did my darling sweet child throw Kirby in the garbage? Stuff him in a pillowcase? Vow to rid the world of Kirby and his evilness?

Nope.

He proceeded to goad Thomas with Kirby every chance he got. Hide behind the door and stick Kirby out as Thomas walked in? Check! Put Kirby in Thomas' bag of toys? Check! Walk up behind Thomas and put Kirby on Thomas' shoulder? Check!

Now of course, wonderful parent that I am, I think that the whole "Thomas is afraid of a dead Furby" phobia is hilarious. And while I certainly didn't encourage Steven's mission to scar his brother for life, I probably could have done a little more to DIScourage it (translation: if I hadn't been laughing so dang hard, Steven probably would have stopped after a couple days of scares).

Now you are probably wondering why Thomas was freaking out over a dead Furby. I mean yeah, it has those freaky eyes and such, but dead Furbys from the 90's have closed eyes. I just chalked it up to it being one of Thomas' "things" and left it at that.

Then we discovered the REAL problem.

One day my mom was sitting in her living room and heard singing coming from the playroom. The kids were not there, and hadn't been there for a day or two. She went in to investigate. There was Kirby, rocking back and forth, humming a little tune to himself, all WITHOUT having been activated. Kirby was working again all right, but only when KIRBY wanted to work. You couldn't turn him on, and you couldn't turn him off. He would just spontaneously do his Kirby thing.

Imagine you are about 4 years old. You are spending the night with your grandparents. And in the middle of the night, this freaking thing on a dresser high above your little head starts singing, swaying back and forth, and talking in some unknown language. Well no wonder the kid was terrified of it!

He was probably at least 7 before he could even look at that thing without freaking out.

At least that's ONE item he WON'T be begging for at Christmas! Though I wouldn't put it past Steven to ask for one just to torture him with it....

Settle Down Jars

Oh Pinterest. Why must you torment me thus?

So I saw these on Pinterest and knew I had to make them for myself. Because really, who isn't mesmerized by slowly swirling glitter? Plus I knew these could have all kinds of applications both in a school setting and in a therapeutic one. One trip to the Dollar Tree later and I was ready to go! (Side note, I also borrowed ideas for these from here, here, and here. Give credit where credit is due people!)

These are super simple to make. I managed to a) make 2 prototypes, b) upload pics, and c) type this blog post in about 90 minutes worth of time. Oh and break up a fight between my kids. And feed the cat. And switch the clothes over to the dryer.

You are going to need some supplies that you may or may not already have on hand. I am not a big fan of glitter because every time I use it I end up looking like Lady Gaga threw up on me. But if you already have glitter and/or glitter glue at home this project might be super cheap/free! You will need:

• Glitter glue
• Loose glitter
• Hot water (really hot, almost boiling)
• A clear container that can be sealed to be leak proof (Mason jar, water bottle, etc)
• Food coloring/dye
• Super glue (or other permanent adhesive because you do NOT want your kiddos to open this sucker once you get done with it)
• MAYBE some clear gel glue (like Alene's Clear Gel Tacky Glue) - this depends on how much glue is in your glitter glue and how long you want it to take to settle

Ok back to the Dollar Tree. Normally I don't allow myself to go into the Dollar Tree because when you buy 20 items at a time it's not the cheap store anymore. Especially when you only needed 2 or 3 of those items but Pinterest has convinced you that you are the world's greatest crafter so go ahead girl, cause you got this! But today I had some restraint (translation: pay day is still a week away) and managed to only spend $7. Ok, it was $8, but a dollar of that was for this cool flip top coffee tumbler I found. I'm addicted to those now. That's a separate post though.

Yes, I bought a Cherry Coke at the Dollar Tree. I needed a clear plastic bottle to experiment with!

So it turns out at the Dollar Tree they have 2 kinds of glitter glue. They have a giant (1.8oz) bottle size that comes in a 3 pack and they have a small (0.33oz) tube version that comes in a 10 pack. Your Dollar Store of choice might have something different, or they might not have it at all. Mine is pretty awesome (and also on my way home from work) so they had it. I also got some small jars of loose glitter because the glitter in the little tubes is REALLY fine and I wanted to be sure it was all pretty and shiny and whatnot.

So I decided to try the mason jar one first. I didn't get as many good "construction" photos with it because I was still figuring out what the heck to do. Luckily I had read on someone's comments that the water needed to be really hot so the glue would dissolve. This is true - if your water cools off before you are done adding glue just pop it back in the microwave and heat it back up!

Microwave that water! 3 minutes ought to do it.

I poured the super hot water into the jar until it was about 3/4ths of the way full (leave room to add stuff!) Then I squeezed in and entire bottle of the red glitter glue (the 1.8oz size). It was really clumpy and gloopy looking. Then I added a small container of loose silver glitter. Since this was in the mason jar, I grabbed a plastic spoon and mixed it up. 

Glitter + Glue? No way I was using a "good" spoon to mix!

See how swirly and Christmasy that looks? Well one thing I noticed right away was that the loose glitter (silver) was a LOT bigger than the glitter glue glitter (red) so it was settling a lot faster. So I think next time I would buy fine glitter instead of big.

Then I added red food coloring. You could probably skip that if you wanted to, but it looked a little too transparent to me and I wanted it to look really interesting. I probably put too much (about 8 drops) because when the jar is completely settled it looks like a jar of blood. But it's a jar of GLITTER blood, so that makes it ok, right?

Ignore that other crap on the table and the fact that my camera only cost like $60. Pretend this is one of those awesome shots that those other people post, ok?

This jar clocks in at about 10 minutes from shaken to pretty much settled. It's completely settled in about 20 minutes, but you can tell a big difference after 10, so I'd call it a 10 minute timer

At this point my kids had already left for Cub Scouts (thank you male bonding time!), so I decided I had one more in me tonight. Plus I had all these glitter supplies laying around...

This time I decided to use the small (0.33oz) tubes of glitter glue. I thought that green with gold loose glitter would look nice. Well it probably would have it the green glitter had been darker or the gold glitter had been smaller. It still turned out ok though.

After heating up the water, I dumped in the glitter glue and the loose glitter. Since this one was in a bottle, I screwed the top on and shook it. I was skeptical that it would mix and distribute the glue, but it did ok.

I didn't use the Cherry Coke bottle. I wasn't done drinking it and I didn't really feel like chugging it down. So I stole my kid's half full 12oz water bottle and dumped out the water.

Be REALLY careful mixing this - the water is super hot and you can't just grab the bottle with your bare hands and shake away! Well I couldn't anyway. I had to use a pot holder.

This one settled REALLY fast. Part of the problem with that was the gold glitter is so much bigger and darker than the green so it looks settled faster. The other problem was that 0.66oz of glue is not a lot of glue. I had to add about another ounce of the clear tacky glue to get it to settle slower. But it's still a lot faster than the red one (about 4 minutes). Once I added the green food coloring I liked it better.

Looks like a fairy Sundrop, right?

Here's what I will do differently next time:

• Small loose glitter instead of the bigger size
• Less food coloring so my water color isn't so intense after the glitter settles
• Work with the water to glue ratio to better control the time variable
• Remember that the cheap glue tubes take more clear glue (which I already had but isn't exactly cheap) so maybe consider using 4 or 5 tubes instead of just 2

But all in all, I'm pretty pleased with the outcome. What do you think?

Bonus points if you can spot 2 other crafting projects in this picture I've blogged about!

Thomas and the Floor Mats

Sweet Tea. It's bad for kids. But good for community and spiritual growth.

If you give a kid a sweet tea in the backseat of your brand new-to-you minivan on a hot day, there is about a 75% chance of that tea getting dropped into the floorboard of said brand new-to-you minivan. Hopefully you will retain your composure enough to a) not cause a wreck and b) not beat your kid after you get pulled over so you can attempt to mop up the soggy mess until you can get home to clean it out. Oh and of course you will have 3 napkins and a used kleenex to do this with.

Anyway.

When we got home, Thomas had to take the floor mat out and scrub it so the mess wouldn't get worse. And since it's a gorgeous day outside, that means bare feet and dish soap in the driveway.

So we drag out the mat (Ewww it's all sticky and gross!!!) and turn on the hose (Mom, why is the water spraying everywhere around the trigger thing? A gasket? What the heck is a gasket?!) and proceed to wet the mat.

"Now Thomas, " I tell him, in my best Mom the Teacher voice, "you need to wet the mat down first with the mist setting, then put some dish soap on it and scrub the whole mat with the brush, and then rinse the soap and dirt away. Then we'll leave it in the sun to dry and it will be good as new."

So I go in the house for five minutes because I know he's going to get completely soaked and I'll be fighting the urge to tell him he's doing it wrong. (I mean seriously Leah, how can you wash a floor mat wrong, cut the kid some slack)

When I come back out he is just finishing up rinsing it.

"Oh hey Mom," he greets me, with his best Thomas the Responsible Preteen voice, "I'm almost finished washing the mat. But I bet you are wondering why I changed the setting on the hose." I wasn't, I was actually wondering how he managed to get more water on himself than on the mat and driveway combined. "Well you see, we started out with mist, and that was all well and fine and all, but once we started scrubbing up the mess with the soap and the brush, the mist wasn't going to wash all the soap off the mat, and what it DOES wash off isn't going to take the dirt with it. So I switched to the full setting. This setting lets me get straight to the soap and dirt and get them out of the carpet but it doesn't blast the carpet into smithereens like the jet setting would do. It's just like Pastor Brian was saying at church this morning. When you are dealing with people in community, sometimes things get messy, just like when I dropped the tea in the car. So you have to help them clean it up. But you can't just dance around the problem they have and you can't just blast them with 'you need to do this to fix your problem, so just do it'. You have to use the right setting to help them clean up their mess."

When did he grow up so much?!

I am so very thankful that God has placed us where he has, in a community of believers who love my family and pour the truth of the Gospel into them. Who invest their time and talents into us. And who aren't afraid to use the full setting to help us get the sweet tea out of our floor mat lives.

Open Letter #27

Dear Office Supply Company,

First off, let me say I think your free shipping and almost always next day delivery are awesome. I also love that you have uber discounts for me and that you send me coupons almost every day. Your website is super easy to navigate, your search feature not only finds what I'm looking for but remembers what I've ordered so when I'm trying to find that particular quantity and brand of glue sticks it suggests them for me. I like that you give me $2 credit for every ink cartridge I send in. I like that my account rep seems genuinely interested in not only making the sale but also in cultivating a relationship with me and in helping me find ways to save money and stretch my budget.

That being said...

I need you to work on your online images. Because I can't SEE the construction paper I'm ordering and yes, it DOES matter what the actual color is.

Example:

This is Butterscotch

This is Orange

That's the same picture. And yes, it's the same brand. Which means it's NOT the same color. So Now I don't know which is orange and which is sort of orange. And if you are a teacher it matters. A lot apparently.  You should see the red. Holiday red is more like pinkish red while red is more like burgundy. You have to order red-orange to get the crayon definition of red. And when you buy it 200 packs at a time, you really need to get the right color, because people will just not use it and then you are stuck with a bunch of it left over that never gets used (I'm looking at you, Caramel, that actually turned out to be more like doo-doo brown).

So if you could just fix that one teensy weensy little thing we could go back to being madly in love.

Colorfully Yours,
The Secretary with a Closet Full of Doo-doo Brown and Lime Green Paper

Open Letter #26

Dear Once Every Four Year Voters,

You DO realize the polls are open more than just once every four years, right? And that there are elections EVERY year that affect you, your children, and your rights? And that it's your duty as an American citizen to go vote EVERY time the polls are open?

Your Opinion Only Matters to me 1/4 of the Time,
A Conscientious Voter

Open Letter #25

Dear People Who Like to be Popsicles,

I have a space heater now. Which I am running. Even though it is 90 degrees outside. So there.

Better Luck Freezing Me Out Next Time,
The Only One NOT Going Through "The Change" (apparently)

Disposable?

This is trash.