Open Letter #23

Dear People Who Use the Copier,

It's not that complicated. I let your students do it all the time. Put the paper down, close the top, press the green button.

If it misfeeds, it shows you where the problem is. Open the door, look for the giant white piece of paper, pull it out. If it doesn't want to come out, look for the bright turquoise parts of the machine. Pull that, then try it again.

If you tried to get it out and you can't, by all means come and get me. But please, please, PLEASE do not do the following:

• Walk off and leave it without trying to fix it or telling someone it's broken. 
• Pull so hard that the paper rips in half. Cause it is SO much harder to get it out then. And I might have to put in a service call which will mean 3-4 days of it being down.
• Open every place that might possibly open on it, then walk away and leave it wide open and exposed.
• Start yanking on black pieces. Black = don't touch. Turquoise = ok to touch.
• Find a screw driver and start performing surgery on it (I really wish I was kidding about that one, yes it has happened)
• Stick objects into it trying to retrieve the scraps of paper now stuck in it you created when you attempted to rip out the jam. I'm looking at you, paper clips and needle nose pliers.

And last, but certainly not least:

Do not come into my office and say "Mrs. Stewart, the copier is broke. I don't know what's wrong with it, it just made a beeping noise so I came up here to tell you. I need you to come fix it right now because I need that stuff I was copying right this second so please drop what you are doing and come make it work because I know you have NOTHING better to do than work on the freaking copier all day long because I can't figure out how to open the door and pull out the piece of paper like the picture showed me to do!!!"


Ahem. Sorry about that.

So in the future, please attempt to at least try to solve it before you come to me and I have to drop everything and go open the door, pull out the paper, and walk away 3 seconds later.

I Still Love You,
Your Secretary Who, Contrary to Popular Belief, DOES Occasionally Do Things OTHER Than Copier Rescuing.

Chuck E Cheese at Forest Heights

Usually you take your school kids to see Chuck E. Cheese.

Today, he came to see us.

I don't mean this kind.

I mean this kind.

More Quilt Blocks! Yay!

So it's that time again! Gotta do my block for the week for the Quilt Along I'm doing.

So next on the list are blocks 3 & 4. I am now in love with spray starch. Why, you ask?

Open Letter #22

Dear Walgreens,

All I wanted was some buy one get one half off shampoo.

But no.

You just HAD to let me wander over to the nail polish section. Where you just HAD to have like 30 different new shades and designs of Sally Hansen Nail Strips. Which you KNOW I have an addiction to. And there was that cute plaid one. And the stripey one. And like 4 new glittery ones. Oh, and this one.

Thanks a lot. Now my hair is clean AND I have new nail polish. It's like I'm turning into a girl or something.

Ignore the Typos Because it's Hard to Type with Freshly Redone Nails,

The Chick Rocking the Above Pictured Style

Deadliest Catch

Well, my kid brought home a permission slip so I signed it. Then I asked what it was for.

Oh.

It was permission to bring home these guys from his school science kit.

You might not be able to tell, but yes, those are fiddler crabs.

Well, if we are going to be crab owners, we might as well have fun with it, right? So I cobbled together some basic supplies and prayed for my child's sake they would make it through the weekend.

Well considering I did 17 minutes of research on Google and the fact that I have seen all 7 seasons of Deadliest Catch on Netflix, we should be good to go, right? Please note, if you haven't watched Deadliest Catch, the rest of this post is going to make you wonder if I am on crack, because it is NOT going to make any sense.

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-E

BOTH my boys are in the school spelling bee this year. Yay!

(Teachers I work with might want to skip the next paragraph)

This is funny to me because:
a) spelling is not something we practice at home
b) I think spelling homework past 2nd grade or so is a complete waste of time
c) The only reason I make them do spelling homework is because they need to learn to do what the person in authority tells them to do, even if they don't see the point in it.

Now of course my KIDS don't know how I feel about spelling homework. They think they better do it and do it well each and every day. But I'm pretty sure there have been times they turned it in incomplete or misspelled because I didn't bother to do more than glance to see they had attempted it before signing off on it.

Anyway, back to the spelling bee.

Crayon Canvas Art

I saw it on Pinterest and thought "this is the coolest thing EVER and I HAVE to have one on the wall at the end of my hall between the kids' rooms. That's right, it's the melted crayon canvas!

So I looked around until I found this awesome tutorial on the Whatever blog (seriously, check that blog out. I need more hours in a day so I can do all that cool stuff).

Basically, you just hot glue crayons to a canvas and heat them with a hair dryer until they get all melty and splatter or drip down your canvas. Then you hang it up and go blog about it! Yay!