Open Letter #4, Part 2

*Politically Correct version can be found here.*

Dear Idiot Who Can't Figure Out How to Communicate Via Walkie Talkie,

Step One: Press the button.
Step Two: Wait 2 seconds before launching right in
Step Three: Sloooooow Dooooooown - you message WILL get across even if you must stop to breathe now and then
Step Four: Wait 2 seconds before moving to the next step
Step Five: Release the button.

Stuff You Obviously Can't Figure Out for Yourself:

• Do not place your mouth directly on the speaker. This makes you sound like you are in a wind tunnel screaming bloody murder.


• When you talk like you is from da hood and drop endings off words, people cannot understand what in the heck you are trying to say. Same goes for if ya'll talk-uh like ya'll are in that'uh they'ur'uh country bar'uh. 


• If you start spewing out your message as soon are you hit the button, the first part of your message is going to get cut off. Every time. Same goes for if you let go of the button before you finish talking. No one will hear the ending.


• You need to make sure the person you are trying to reach is atually there before you just dump your message out there. And you need to give them half a second to pick up the walkie and answer you back before you call them 18 more times. Maybe they are flushing the ding-dang toilet. Maybe they are on the phone. Have some patience! And if someone is calling you, let them know you heard them in as timely a manner as possible. Even it's just an "ok", "copy that", or "Ten-four good buddy"..


• If someone is talking and you need to say something back, wait two dang seconds before jamming that button and launching your message. Maybe they are taking a breath, you ever think of that???


• Other people on the walkie channel and in the near vicinity of the walkie carrier don't want to know that the person you are trying to reach has a phone call about the results of their highly personal medical procedure. Nor do they need to know someone's private business. Find a different way to get that info to them!


• Turn your walkie down or get a freaking headset if you are in a quiet situation. It's like hearing a cell phone go off at a funeral - it's distracting and unnecessary, as well as easily preventable! 

Seriously it's Not That Hard to Figure Out,

Other Walkie Talkie Users Who Have Half an Ounce of Sense