New Quilt Block

Another week, another finished block. Yay!

I forgot to print off the template for this week's actual block (oops!), so I just jumped a week ahead and will go back and get the other one next week. Plus it looks kinda hard.

So, the block this time is called a Fireflies Block. It was really fun to make!

I wasn't all that pleased with it in person, but I think it looks AWESOME in that picture. So I'm not really sure what that says about it. That probably plays into my theory that it's not that I make crappy crafts, it's that other people take REALLY good photos of their crappy crafts.

Maybe it's the blue ironing board? I don't know.

Sidewalk Chalk on a Friday Morning

The sun is peeking over the slanted red metal roof and the wind is softly blowing. The temperature is a perfect 65 degrees. It's 8:30am on a Friday morning in February. And the children are playing outside my office window.

They are taking their spelling words and writing on the front walk with chalk. All up and down the walk, you can see their happy little faces and hear them chattering to each other. Everyone gets their own 4' x 4' square. They aren't allowed to draw pictures until they get their work done.

It's such amazing insight into the inner workings of their brains. Some write the words quickly, eager to get on with the drawing part. Some struggle to get started, waiting until the last minute. Some write impossibly tiny, careful to save their chalk and maximize their drawing space for when the work is done. Some write letters the size of their feet, proud to show off that they are good spellers and can write out those words. Some list the words carefully and neatly, in nice even rows. Some write in every direction and size.

Times like these make me glad to work here, in this building with these people. It seems like a no brainer that kids would love to write their spelling words with chalk. But when you factor in all the "stuff" that teachers are required to do and kids are required to master, 30 minutes spent outside just enjoying the morning and letting the kids have fun with learning is hard to carve out. There are tests to be taken, assessments to give, lessons to plan, and interventions to implement. There are behaviors to correct, phone calls to make, emails to process, and papers to grade. Education has changed so much since "we" were in school. Teachers don't get to teach anymore and children don't get to learn. Teachers get to collect, analyze, and chart growth data while students get to strive to reach and accomplish age appropriate expectations.

But sometimes, just for a brief moment in time, kids get to be kids and learn for the fun of learning, and teachers get to guide them in exploration of knowledge, letting them experience the material in a way that is both memorable and meaningful while working in their own way at their own pace.

It makes me want to grab a piece of chalk and go outside to play.

Open Letter #24

Dear Coworkers Who Think I am Omnipotent,

Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT, in fact, have the answer to everything. I don't know why that kid is perpetually tardy. I don't know why your email will not let you add an attachment. I don't know why Susie's mom won't sign her reading log. I don't know why we are always out of printer ink.Oh wait, I DO know that one. 


I especially don't know why that kid is throwing up. I promise if you try REALLY hard you can figure out how to take a temperature too. You stick the thing in the ear, you push the start button, 4 seconds later it beeps, you look at the number. If it's 98.6 (+/- a degree), the kid does not have a fever. If they are saying their tummy hurts and you believe them, call mom to come get them. If they are throwing up all over the place, why are you taking a temp? No one cares if they have a fever IF THEY ARE PUKING! SEND THEM HOME!

Seriously, it's not like those germs just sit in the Trash Can, They Can Move,
Your Secretary Who is Not a Nurse and Can't Diagnose Kids

Paper Covered Light Switch Plate

I wanted to jazz up my light switch plates and outlet covers for my living make over, so I decided I needed some practice. Time to break out the Mod Podge! Wooo!

You could do with just scissors, but I am obsessed with my rotary cutter!

Here's what you need:

• Mod Podge (I had gloss. I wish I had matte. Why did I even buy gloss? I'm constantly saying I wish I had matte instead!)
• Brush
• Rotary mat, ruler, and cutter (you could use plain scissors, but I just love my rotary tools!)
• Scrapbooking or other cutesy printed paper
• Light switch plate

The first thing you are going to do is put your cover upside down on the back of your paper and trace it out. Make your trace a little bit bigger than your actual cover - you need enough paper to wrap around the edges!

I knew I was using my rotary tools to cut it out so I didn't care if my trace was straight. If you can't cut a straight line with scissors, try to make a better line than mine.

Cut out the trace.

Again, mine was measured out and made straight by my tools. You know whether or not you need them.

Paint the front of the cover with Mod Podge.

Make sure you get a nice coat on there

Now gently trim the excess paper from the switch BE CAREFUL because you might be like me and forget that the cutter can go through the paper, tin foil, and table cloth. Oops. Wrap the extra around the back so the whole plate front is covered including the edges

Don't be stupid. Use wax paper, not tin foil. You'll see why at the end.

Use a small blade tool to cut out the holes where your screws and switch go. You're going to want to fold in the paper on the rectangle where the switch goes, so don't completely cut the paper away.

I love these little blades. They sell them at the register at the fabric store. As if I needed something ELSE to give them money for...

Now coat the whole thing with Mod Podge and let it dry overnight ON WAX PAPER. I let mine dry on foil and that was a REALLY bad idea.

Now just screw it back into the wall and you're done! I shouldn't have dried mine on foil - when I went to get it up some of the paper stuck to the foil and so the top of my cover is missing its paper a little on one corner. Oh well, it still looks pretty good if you aren't right up on it!

Wax paper > tin foil for letting it dry

So not too bad for a quick and cheap make over for switch plates and outlet covers. And hey, if you hate it, they are like $1 at Wal-Mart - go buy a new one!

Open Letter #23

Dear People Who Use the Copier,

It's not that complicated. I let your students do it all the time. Put the paper down, close the top, press the green button.

If it misfeeds, it shows you where the problem is. Open the door, look for the giant white piece of paper, pull it out. If it doesn't want to come out, look for the bright turquoise parts of the machine. Pull that, then try it again.

If you tried to get it out and you can't, by all means come and get me. But please, please, PLEASE do not do the following:

• Walk off and leave it without trying to fix it or telling someone it's broken. 
• Pull so hard that the paper rips in half. Cause it is SO much harder to get it out then. And I might have to put in a service call which will mean 3-4 days of it being down.
• Open every place that might possibly open on it, then walk away and leave it wide open and exposed.
• Start yanking on black pieces. Black = don't touch. Turquoise = ok to touch.
• Find a screw driver and start performing surgery on it (I really wish I was kidding about that one, yes it has happened)
• Stick objects into it trying to retrieve the scraps of paper now stuck in it you created when you attempted to rip out the jam. I'm looking at you, paper clips and needle nose pliers.

And last, but certainly not least:

Do not come into my office and say "Mrs. Stewart, the copier is broke. I don't know what's wrong with it, it just made a beeping noise so I came up here to tell you. I need you to come fix it right now because I need that stuff I was copying right this second so please drop what you are doing and come make it work because I know you have NOTHING better to do than work on the freaking copier all day long because I can't figure out how to open the door and pull out the piece of paper like the picture showed me to do!!!"


Ahem. Sorry about that.

So in the future, please attempt to at least try to solve it before you come to me and I have to drop everything and go open the door, pull out the paper, and walk away 3 seconds later.

I Still Love You,
Your Secretary Who, Contrary to Popular Belief, DOES Occasionally Do Things OTHER Than Copier Rescuing.

Chuck E Cheese at Forest Heights

Usually you take your school kids to see Chuck E. Cheese.

Today, he came to see us.

I don't mean this kind.

I mean this kind.

More Quilt Blocks! Yay!

So it's that time again! Gotta do my block for the week for the Quilt Along I'm doing.

So next on the list are blocks 3 & 4. I am now in love with spray starch. Why, you ask?

Open Letter #22

Dear Walgreens,

All I wanted was some buy one get one half off shampoo.

But no.

You just HAD to let me wander over to the nail polish section. Where you just HAD to have like 30 different new shades and designs of Sally Hansen Nail Strips. Which you KNOW I have an addiction to. And there was that cute plaid one. And the stripey one. And like 4 new glittery ones. Oh, and this one.

Thanks a lot. Now my hair is clean AND I have new nail polish. It's like I'm turning into a girl or something.

Ignore the Typos Because it's Hard to Type with Freshly Redone Nails,

The Chick Rocking the Above Pictured Style

Deadliest Catch

Well, my kid brought home a permission slip so I signed it. Then I asked what it was for.

Oh.

It was permission to bring home these guys from his school science kit.

You might not be able to tell, but yes, those are fiddler crabs.

Well, if we are going to be crab owners, we might as well have fun with it, right? So I cobbled together some basic supplies and prayed for my child's sake they would make it through the weekend.

Well considering I did 17 minutes of research on Google and the fact that I have seen all 7 seasons of Deadliest Catch on Netflix, we should be good to go, right? Please note, if you haven't watched Deadliest Catch, the rest of this post is going to make you wonder if I am on crack, because it is NOT going to make any sense.

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-E

BOTH my boys are in the school spelling bee this year. Yay!

(Teachers I work with might want to skip the next paragraph)

This is funny to me because:
a) spelling is not something we practice at home
b) I think spelling homework past 2nd grade or so is a complete waste of time
c) The only reason I make them do spelling homework is because they need to learn to do what the person in authority tells them to do, even if they don't see the point in it.

Now of course my KIDS don't know how I feel about spelling homework. They think they better do it and do it well each and every day. But I'm pretty sure there have been times they turned it in incomplete or misspelled because I didn't bother to do more than glance to see they had attempted it before signing off on it.

Anyway, back to the spelling bee.

Crayon Canvas Art

I saw it on Pinterest and thought "this is the coolest thing EVER and I HAVE to have one on the wall at the end of my hall between the kids' rooms. That's right, it's the melted crayon canvas!

So I looked around until I found this awesome tutorial on the Whatever blog (seriously, check that blog out. I need more hours in a day so I can do all that cool stuff).

Basically, you just hot glue crayons to a canvas and heat them with a hair dryer until they get all melty and splatter or drip down your canvas. Then you hang it up and go blog about it! Yay!

Well I WAS president of the Future Homemakers of America, afterall...

Recently I decided I was going to learn to quilt. Because, um...yeah. I just did. So I'm doing this quilt along by Jenna at SewHappyGeek. I was late to the party (they are already on their 8th block), but that's ok, because they are going a week at a time and I doubt I can keep up with that pace once we get past the easy blocks anyway. So it should be fun. We'll see...

Here's my first 2 blocks! You can find the directions and a step-by-step tutorial on how to make them here.

(Yes, I am super proud of them. And they only took me like 5 hours total to cut and piece both of them)

World's Finest Fundraising

Chocolate. I like it ok. I mean, I'm not one of those people who must have a steady supply of it OR ELSE but I'm probably not going to turn it down either. But selling it? Well, that's a whole 'nother story!

This stuff. Is amazing.

I mean, it's decent tasting and whatever, but in sheer profit value? It practically sells itself. We made gobs and gobs of money this year and last selling it, and all we had to do was bribe the kids with chance to win an iPod. I don't have my final totals in yet, but I expect it will be well over $5,000 profit once it is all said and done. Not bad for a school of only 450 students!

And as Captain Steve put it, "Mrs. Stewart, you look like one of those drug lords in those gansta movies I be watching counting up all yo money and stacking it up like that." Where's my luxury sedan with spinning rims? And my entourage? I was promised an entourage with this gig!

A Warning...

Mod Podge adheres to your fingernail polish. Then it snatches it off your nail when you are peeling the dried up goop off your fingers. If your nails peel like mine do, that means a layer of nail is coming off with the polish.

So FYI, either take all your nail polish off before you start your project or plan to redo your nails after (polish remover will get Mod Podge off too). Or learn to use Mod Podge without getting it all over yourself. (If you figure out how to do that let me know!)

Mod Podge Picture Frame

I decided I was going to learn to love Mod Podge. So I bought some. I got glossy, and now I wish I had gotten matte. Anyway, apparently I can think of a million different things to make with Mod Podge.

I bought a cheap wooden frame in the kids craft section at Wal-Mart for $1. I decided I wanted to Mod Podge with fabric. So I dug in my fabric stash and pulled out the CUTE yellow, black, and grey strips I was saving to make towel appliques with. I only needed a little bit of fabric, so I was ok with dipping into it.

Is this not the best fabric EVER?!

And so it begins...

Crafting World.

It started out as a simple tote bag that held cross stitching stuff. And then I sorta needed a sewing box. And then I sorta needed a sewing machine. And then I sorta needed another bag to hold all my scraps and remnants. And then I sorta needed a NEW sewing machine that could do fancy stitches. And then I had all these accessories like a rotary mat and ruler, various adhesives, the hot glue gun, etc etc etc. And now it has its own corner of the living room and a 3 towered shelving unit.

The beginning of the end right there

Pretty soon it's going to want its own room. I am officially turning into my mother.

Chicken Steven Not Only Ate, But Liked!

So tonight for dinner I decided to cook. My kids were very disappointed that the pizza delivery guy would be spending time with his OTHER families tonight. Anyway, I made Italian Chicken (that I bought on impulse in the cheese aisle at the store) and Roasted Potatoes (cause I saw them on Pinterest and, let's face it, Pinterest makes us ALL feel like we are crafting masters).

The chicken is on the left and the potato on the right. Stop laughing at me. I know they look the same in the photo.