Spook Towne, USA

(Yes, it's December and I'm posting about Halloween. I just went back into drafts and found this)

We had a Spooktacular Halloween this year, even though my little goblins were bummed because I told them they are now too old to go Trick or Treating. But it's ok, Pinterest and Nana to the rescue! 

Mummies in a blanket, witch hat pizzas, Jack-o-Lantern fruit cups

Bubbling cauldrons and Witches' Brew. Who knew they sold dry ice at the grocery store?!

Dracula made a guest appearance.

We even played Halloween bingo

and Stick the Spider in the Web!

If you want to see the recipes we used, they are all in my Halloween board on Pinterest.

One Horse Sleigh

You know how it is. You need that perfect gift for your coworkers, your kids' teachers, the neighbors, etc. But you don't want to break the bank to make everyone feel special. I spent years trying to come up with clever gifts.

And then the internet invented Pinterest.

So when I found these on there, well you know I had to pin and make them! Here's my source pin.

You are going to need candy canes, a wide, flat, rectangular candy bar (KitKat works great - Hershey bars might work too), and some candies for packages. I used the Hershey Miniatures like my inspiration blogger did, but as I was making them I stated thinking you could probably use the Nuggets or maybe even some other mixed assorted candies. 

You also will need some ribbon or wide string and a bow or something to go on top. And an adhesive. I used hot glue. Some people have had success using glue dots (like for scrapbooking). I am cheap. I had hot glue on hand already and I was shelling out a lot of money for candy!

To do the sleighs the way I made them, you will need for each sleigh 2 candy canes, 1 KitKat bar, 10 Minis, 18" of ribbon, and a Hershey's kiss (to go on top).

First, glue the candy canes to the bottom of the KitKat. Leave the curves part out or your presents won't have room.

Now start layering your candies. I went with 4, 3, 2, 1. You could do 3, 2, 1 and it would still look pretty good and be a little cheaper in the long run.

I just put a little dab of hot glue on the bottom of each candy. I don't think they melted any. No one mentioned it if they did. If you got one of these from me and it was melted or ooky, leave a comment so we'll know!

I did put ribbon around these and glue a Hershey Kiss on the very top, but I forgot to take a picture. They turned out super cute though and I really liked them!

Easy Lined Zipper Pouch Tutorial

So I'm a little bit thrifty. Note to all you rich people out there: that means I'm poor but I refuse to be labeled as such! And I have about 8 million family members on my shopping list. But just because you are not loaded doesn't mean you can't give nice gifts! Enter the Easy Lined Zipper Pouch!

You love my spiffy bath towel backdrop, right? Yeah that was the first thing I grabbed from the linen closet.

Now some of you might be intimidated by this project. Let me assure you, if you own a machine, can thread it, and make it stitch, you can make these. Even the zippered part. I promise, they aren't hard in the least!

Here's what you're gonna need materials wise:

I'M FAMOUS!

Ok, not really. But I noticed that my web traffic was picking up and it was coming from...

DUN DUN DUN.....

PINTEREST!!!!!

WOOOOO I have made the big time now! Somebody pinned me on Pinterest!

Then I noticed I haven't actually added any new content since October. Oops.

BUT I have about a zillion pictures on my phone I need to upload and blog about so maybe I'll get those going. And I've got 5 or 6 drafts I could edit and publish. So for my new stalkers, WELCOME! (And yes, I am totally crazy)

Why Furby is Evil

And no, it's not because it costs $60 (?!?!).

Thomas has to leave the room every time the Furby commercial comes on. And it's not even because I'm trying to convince him that there is no way that thing can possibly be worth that much of my hard earned money. (Although seriously? There is no way I would pay that much for that thing. If you are planning to, I'm not judging you, I'm just saying that's too much for something they are gonna play with for 30 hours and then be over it)

No, if it's one of my boys and a phobia, you know there has to be some hilarious back story to it. Because, let's face it, I am pretty darn good at creating ridiculous phobias in my children!

So what happened was, when Thomas and Steven were toddlers (probably around 3 and 4), we drug down all my old stuffed animals from the attic. And in the bin was my old Furby. Steven of course fell in love with it because it was a stuffed animal. Yes, he has very high standards for judging stuffed animals to love and never part with. Something along of the lines of a) is it somewhat soft and b) do I already own the exact same thing (note - variations of even the slightest degree from an already owned and loved stuffed animal qualify it as "different" and therefore eligible for being adopted into the stuffed animal herd).

Anyway, we tried to make Furby work again. Cleaned the contacts, new batteries, I think my Dad might have even gotten into its "guts" and worked on the circuit board in an effort to make Furby work. But Furby just wasn't having it after a decade of living in a Rubbermaid bin in the attic. So we resigned ourselves to the fact that Furby just wasn't going to do cool stuff and went on about life.

But Furby had other plans.

At some point we noticed that Thomas was avoiding the room that Furby (Now renamed "Kirby", sorry to my dear cousin Kirby who is not, in any way evil) now lived in. And that, in fact, he would walk around the dresser and distance himself as far as possible from Kirby at all times. Kirby was living in my kids' playroom over at Nona and PawPaw's house. We call it "The Land of Yes" for a reason, so there were any number of things on that dresser that could have been the source of the phobia. But it was pretty much confirmed that Kirby was the root of the problem when Steven got it down to play with and Thomas came running out of the room like a cat on a 3am crack high.

Well if you know Steven, you know what happened next.

Did my darling sweet child throw Kirby in the garbage? Stuff him in a pillowcase? Vow to rid the world of Kirby and his evilness?

Nope.

He proceeded to goad Thomas with Kirby every chance he got. Hide behind the door and stick Kirby out as Thomas walked in? Check! Put Kirby in Thomas' bag of toys? Check! Walk up behind Thomas and put Kirby on Thomas' shoulder? Check!

Now of course, wonderful parent that I am, I think that the whole "Thomas is afraid of a dead Furby" phobia is hilarious. And while I certainly didn't encourage Steven's mission to scar his brother for life, I probably could have done a little more to DIScourage it (translation: if I hadn't been laughing so dang hard, Steven probably would have stopped after a couple days of scares).

Now you are probably wondering why Thomas was freaking out over a dead Furby. I mean yeah, it has those freaky eyes and such, but dead Furbys from the 90's have closed eyes. I just chalked it up to it being one of Thomas' "things" and left it at that.

Then we discovered the REAL problem.

One day my mom was sitting in her living room and heard singing coming from the playroom. The kids were not there, and hadn't been there for a day or two. She went in to investigate. There was Kirby, rocking back and forth, humming a little tune to himself, all WITHOUT having been activated. Kirby was working again all right, but only when KIRBY wanted to work. You couldn't turn him on, and you couldn't turn him off. He would just spontaneously do his Kirby thing.

Imagine you are about 4 years old. You are spending the night with your grandparents. And in the middle of the night, this freaking thing on a dresser high above your little head starts singing, swaying back and forth, and talking in some unknown language. Well no wonder the kid was terrified of it!

He was probably at least 7 before he could even look at that thing without freaking out.

At least that's ONE item he WON'T be begging for at Christmas! Though I wouldn't put it past Steven to ask for one just to torture him with it....

Settle Down Jars

Oh Pinterest. Why must you torment me thus?

So I saw these on Pinterest and knew I had to make them for myself. Because really, who isn't mesmerized by slowly swirling glitter? Plus I knew these could have all kinds of applications both in a school setting and in a therapeutic one. One trip to the Dollar Tree later and I was ready to go! (Side note, I also borrowed ideas for these from here, here, and here. Give credit where credit is due people!)

These are super simple to make. I managed to a) make 2 prototypes, b) upload pics, and c) type this blog post in about 90 minutes worth of time. Oh and break up a fight between my kids. And feed the cat. And switch the clothes over to the dryer.

You are going to need some supplies that you may or may not already have on hand. I am not a big fan of glitter because every time I use it I end up looking like Lady Gaga threw up on me. But if you already have glitter and/or glitter glue at home this project might be super cheap/free! You will need:

• Glitter glue
• Loose glitter
• Hot water (really hot, almost boiling)
• A clear container that can be sealed to be leak proof (Mason jar, water bottle, etc)
• Food coloring/dye
• Super glue (or other permanent adhesive because you do NOT want your kiddos to open this sucker once you get done with it)
• MAYBE some clear gel glue (like Alene's Clear Gel Tacky Glue) - this depends on how much glue is in your glitter glue and how long you want it to take to settle

Ok back to the Dollar Tree. Normally I don't allow myself to go into the Dollar Tree because when you buy 20 items at a time it's not the cheap store anymore. Especially when you only needed 2 or 3 of those items but Pinterest has convinced you that you are the world's greatest crafter so go ahead girl, cause you got this! But today I had some restraint (translation: pay day is still a week away) and managed to only spend $7. Ok, it was $8, but a dollar of that was for this cool flip top coffee tumbler I found. I'm addicted to those now. That's a separate post though.

Yes, I bought a Cherry Coke at the Dollar Tree. I needed a clear plastic bottle to experiment with!

So it turns out at the Dollar Tree they have 2 kinds of glitter glue. They have a giant (1.8oz) bottle size that comes in a 3 pack and they have a small (0.33oz) tube version that comes in a 10 pack. Your Dollar Store of choice might have something different, or they might not have it at all. Mine is pretty awesome (and also on my way home from work) so they had it. I also got some small jars of loose glitter because the glitter in the little tubes is REALLY fine and I wanted to be sure it was all pretty and shiny and whatnot.

So I decided to try the mason jar one first. I didn't get as many good "construction" photos with it because I was still figuring out what the heck to do. Luckily I had read on someone's comments that the water needed to be really hot so the glue would dissolve. This is true - if your water cools off before you are done adding glue just pop it back in the microwave and heat it back up!

Microwave that water! 3 minutes ought to do it.

I poured the super hot water into the jar until it was about 3/4ths of the way full (leave room to add stuff!) Then I squeezed in and entire bottle of the red glitter glue (the 1.8oz size). It was really clumpy and gloopy looking. Then I added a small container of loose silver glitter. Since this was in the mason jar, I grabbed a plastic spoon and mixed it up. 

Glitter + Glue? No way I was using a "good" spoon to mix!

See how swirly and Christmasy that looks? Well one thing I noticed right away was that the loose glitter (silver) was a LOT bigger than the glitter glue glitter (red) so it was settling a lot faster. So I think next time I would buy fine glitter instead of big.

Then I added red food coloring. You could probably skip that if you wanted to, but it looked a little too transparent to me and I wanted it to look really interesting. I probably put too much (about 8 drops) because when the jar is completely settled it looks like a jar of blood. But it's a jar of GLITTER blood, so that makes it ok, right?

Ignore that other crap on the table and the fact that my camera only cost like $60. Pretend this is one of those awesome shots that those other people post, ok?

This jar clocks in at about 10 minutes from shaken to pretty much settled. It's completely settled in about 20 minutes, but you can tell a big difference after 10, so I'd call it a 10 minute timer

At this point my kids had already left for Cub Scouts (thank you male bonding time!), so I decided I had one more in me tonight. Plus I had all these glitter supplies laying around...

This time I decided to use the small (0.33oz) tubes of glitter glue. I thought that green with gold loose glitter would look nice. Well it probably would have it the green glitter had been darker or the gold glitter had been smaller. It still turned out ok though.

After heating up the water, I dumped in the glitter glue and the loose glitter. Since this one was in a bottle, I screwed the top on and shook it. I was skeptical that it would mix and distribute the glue, but it did ok.

I didn't use the Cherry Coke bottle. I wasn't done drinking it and I didn't really feel like chugging it down. So I stole my kid's half full 12oz water bottle and dumped out the water.

Be REALLY careful mixing this - the water is super hot and you can't just grab the bottle with your bare hands and shake away! Well I couldn't anyway. I had to use a pot holder.

This one settled REALLY fast. Part of the problem with that was the gold glitter is so much bigger and darker than the green so it looks settled faster. The other problem was that 0.66oz of glue is not a lot of glue. I had to add about another ounce of the clear tacky glue to get it to settle slower. But it's still a lot faster than the red one (about 4 minutes). Once I added the green food coloring I liked it better.

Looks like a fairy Sundrop, right?

Here's what I will do differently next time:

• Small loose glitter instead of the bigger size
• Less food coloring so my water color isn't so intense after the glitter settles
• Work with the water to glue ratio to better control the time variable
• Remember that the cheap glue tubes take more clear glue (which I already had but isn't exactly cheap) so maybe consider using 4 or 5 tubes instead of just 2

But all in all, I'm pretty pleased with the outcome. What do you think?

Bonus points if you can spot 2 other crafting projects in this picture I've blogged about!

Thomas and the Floor Mats

Sweet Tea. It's bad for kids. But good for community and spiritual growth.

If you give a kid a sweet tea in the backseat of your brand new-to-you minivan on a hot day, there is about a 75% chance of that tea getting dropped into the floorboard of said brand new-to-you minivan. Hopefully you will retain your composure enough to a) not cause a wreck and b) not beat your kid after you get pulled over so you can attempt to mop up the soggy mess until you can get home to clean it out. Oh and of course you will have 3 napkins and a used kleenex to do this with.

Anyway.

When we got home, Thomas had to take the floor mat out and scrub it so the mess wouldn't get worse. And since it's a gorgeous day outside, that means bare feet and dish soap in the driveway.

So we drag out the mat (Ewww it's all sticky and gross!!!) and turn on the hose (Mom, why is the water spraying everywhere around the trigger thing? A gasket? What the heck is a gasket?!) and proceed to wet the mat.

"Now Thomas, " I tell him, in my best Mom the Teacher voice, "you need to wet the mat down first with the mist setting, then put some dish soap on it and scrub the whole mat with the brush, and then rinse the soap and dirt away. Then we'll leave it in the sun to dry and it will be good as new."

So I go in the house for five minutes because I know he's going to get completely soaked and I'll be fighting the urge to tell him he's doing it wrong. (I mean seriously Leah, how can you wash a floor mat wrong, cut the kid some slack)

When I come back out he is just finishing up rinsing it.

"Oh hey Mom," he greets me, with his best Thomas the Responsible Preteen voice, "I'm almost finished washing the mat. But I bet you are wondering why I changed the setting on the hose." I wasn't, I was actually wondering how he managed to get more water on himself than on the mat and driveway combined. "Well you see, we started out with mist, and that was all well and fine and all, but once we started scrubbing up the mess with the soap and the brush, the mist wasn't going to wash all the soap off the mat, and what it DOES wash off isn't going to take the dirt with it. So I switched to the full setting. This setting lets me get straight to the soap and dirt and get them out of the carpet but it doesn't blast the carpet into smithereens like the jet setting would do. It's just like Pastor Brian was saying at church this morning. When you are dealing with people in community, sometimes things get messy, just like when I dropped the tea in the car. So you have to help them clean it up. But you can't just dance around the problem they have and you can't just blast them with 'you need to do this to fix your problem, so just do it'. You have to use the right setting to help them clean up their mess."

When did he grow up so much?!

I am so very thankful that God has placed us where he has, in a community of believers who love my family and pour the truth of the Gospel into them. Who invest their time and talents into us. And who aren't afraid to use the full setting to help us get the sweet tea out of our floor mat lives.

Open Letter #27

Dear Office Supply Company,

First off, let me say I think your free shipping and almost always next day delivery are awesome. I also love that you have uber discounts for me and that you send me coupons almost every day. Your website is super easy to navigate, your search feature not only finds what I'm looking for but remembers what I've ordered so when I'm trying to find that particular quantity and brand of glue sticks it suggests them for me. I like that you give me $2 credit for every ink cartridge I send in. I like that my account rep seems genuinely interested in not only making the sale but also in cultivating a relationship with me and in helping me find ways to save money and stretch my budget.

That being said...

I need you to work on your online images. Because I can't SEE the construction paper I'm ordering and yes, it DOES matter what the actual color is.

Example:

This is Butterscotch

This is Orange

That's the same picture. And yes, it's the same brand. Which means it's NOT the same color. So Now I don't know which is orange and which is sort of orange. And if you are a teacher it matters. A lot apparently.  You should see the red. Holiday red is more like pinkish red while red is more like burgundy. You have to order red-orange to get the crayon definition of red. And when you buy it 200 packs at a time, you really need to get the right color, because people will just not use it and then you are stuck with a bunch of it left over that never gets used (I'm looking at you, Caramel, that actually turned out to be more like doo-doo brown).

So if you could just fix that one teensy weensy little thing we could go back to being madly in love.

Colorfully Yours,
The Secretary with a Closet Full of Doo-doo Brown and Lime Green Paper

Open Letter #26

Dear Once Every Four Year Voters,

You DO realize the polls are open more than just once every four years, right? And that there are elections EVERY year that affect you, your children, and your rights? And that it's your duty as an American citizen to go vote EVERY time the polls are open?

Your Opinion Only Matters to me 1/4 of the Time,
A Conscientious Voter

Open Letter #25

Dear People Who Like to be Popsicles,

I have a space heater now. Which I am running. Even though it is 90 degrees outside. So there.

Better Luck Freezing Me Out Next Time,
The Only One NOT Going Through "The Change" (apparently)

Disposable?

This is trash. 

The Life Stages of Humans

"Mom, I want to tell you something. We have figured out the Life Stages of Humans."

Well coming from my kids, you know this ought to be good.

Weekend Quilt Warrior

So I made block #7 of the Sew. Happy. Quilt. QAL this weekend. I really wish I had found this when the others started because I am not finding it hard AT ALL to keep up the block a week pace like I thought I would. This week's block was the Flying Geese pattern. The astute quilters out there will notice that my triangles don't exactly line up like they are supposed to, but I don't really care. This is my first quilt EVER and I am really quite amazed that I seem to be halfway decent at it. I think it's probably that Jenna's instructions are so easy to follow, but we'll just call it awesome skills on my part. (HAH!)

I've also been doing a Pleated Boxes Pillow sewalong that you can find over at Craft Buds. It doesn't require a lot of time, so my sewing stalkers (friends?) who have 3-4 hours and some scraps laying around should give it a go! It doesn't end until March 23rd and you might be a prize winner! And even if you aren't, you'll have a super cute pillow to show for it. Seriously, some of you who are actual sew-ers could probably knock it out during naptime one afternoon. (How do you spell sew-ers without it coming out sewers?) Anyway, here's my pillow front. I'll post another picture when I get it completed (probably this coming weekend).

I cannot WAIT to finish this and put it on my couch!!!

So what did YOU do this weekend?

Red Light, Green Light

For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, you can find out more about Schizoaffective Disorder here and ECT here Or Google them.


If you had to take a guess as to what question I get asked most frequently is, what would you think? And no, "how are you" and other generic pleasantries don't count.

If you guessed "How is Joe doing?", you win the prize! (The prize is the satisfaction of being right. Hey, I'm cheap, I'm not giving you a REAL prize!)

I'm not going to go into the whole back story right now (though I probably will blog about it at some point). Since my stats tell me I have quite a few stalkers out there now (Hi everyone!!), writing a blog post is probably the fastest way to update everyone all at once.

Most (some?) of you know that Joe, my husband, is disabled. He suffers from schizoaffective disorder. Click the link at the beginning of the post if you want more info about it.

For some time now, medication therapy has not been working. We've done it all. Well I'm sure we missed a particular drug or two, but we've pretty well hit every combination of every category of drug approved for the treatment of mental illness (and a few that were not!) to no avail. About 3 years ago, the doctors started bringing up a treatment called Electroconvulsive Therapy, or ECT.

When quilting goes wrong...

So here's the thing. I followed the pattern! I swear I did! Well, I thought I did. But apparently, I cut the pieces out backward. Can we call it a ninja star?

Is that....a....oh. Crap.

Macrame Cords

I saw these cute earbuds wrapped in embroidery floss on Pinterest and found a link to a blog that clearly shows how to make them via a GREAT tutorial that even includes video! So I made some.

Totally cute, right? AND it keeps them from tying themselves in knots in my purse!

Then I made another one.

The Kindle is totally rocking out in style now!

Then I decided to wrap the power and A/V cords for all the different electronics in coordinating colors so I would always know which cords went to the Wii, which to the computer, etc. Yeah, I went overboard. Big surprise, I know.

I'm using yarn for the bigger cords because a) it's cheaper than 5 billion skeins of floss it would take and b) I didn't want to be tying little bitty knots for all eternity (even though that's how it feels!). Oh and c) I have a ton of yarn from my yet-to-be-completed project of teaching myself to knit and/or crochet. I'll do another post when I get them done so you can ooh and aah over them.

New Quilt Block

Another week, another finished block. Yay!

I forgot to print off the template for this week's actual block (oops!), so I just jumped a week ahead and will go back and get the other one next week. Plus it looks kinda hard.

So, the block this time is called a Fireflies Block. It was really fun to make!

I wasn't all that pleased with it in person, but I think it looks AWESOME in that picture. So I'm not really sure what that says about it. That probably plays into my theory that it's not that I make crappy crafts, it's that other people take REALLY good photos of their crappy crafts.

Maybe it's the blue ironing board? I don't know.

Sidewalk Chalk on a Friday Morning

The sun is peeking over the slanted red metal roof and the wind is softly blowing. The temperature is a perfect 65 degrees. It's 8:30am on a Friday morning in February. And the children are playing outside my office window.

They are taking their spelling words and writing on the front walk with chalk. All up and down the walk, you can see their happy little faces and hear them chattering to each other. Everyone gets their own 4' x 4' square. They aren't allowed to draw pictures until they get their work done.

It's such amazing insight into the inner workings of their brains. Some write the words quickly, eager to get on with the drawing part. Some struggle to get started, waiting until the last minute. Some write impossibly tiny, careful to save their chalk and maximize their drawing space for when the work is done. Some write letters the size of their feet, proud to show off that they are good spellers and can write out those words. Some list the words carefully and neatly, in nice even rows. Some write in every direction and size.

Times like these make me glad to work here, in this building with these people. It seems like a no brainer that kids would love to write their spelling words with chalk. But when you factor in all the "stuff" that teachers are required to do and kids are required to master, 30 minutes spent outside just enjoying the morning and letting the kids have fun with learning is hard to carve out. There are tests to be taken, assessments to give, lessons to plan, and interventions to implement. There are behaviors to correct, phone calls to make, emails to process, and papers to grade. Education has changed so much since "we" were in school. Teachers don't get to teach anymore and children don't get to learn. Teachers get to collect, analyze, and chart growth data while students get to strive to reach and accomplish age appropriate expectations.

But sometimes, just for a brief moment in time, kids get to be kids and learn for the fun of learning, and teachers get to guide them in exploration of knowledge, letting them experience the material in a way that is both memorable and meaningful while working in their own way at their own pace.

It makes me want to grab a piece of chalk and go outside to play.

Open Letter #24

Dear Coworkers Who Think I am Omnipotent,

Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT, in fact, have the answer to everything. I don't know why that kid is perpetually tardy. I don't know why your email will not let you add an attachment. I don't know why Susie's mom won't sign her reading log. I don't know why we are always out of printer ink.Oh wait, I DO know that one. 


I especially don't know why that kid is throwing up. I promise if you try REALLY hard you can figure out how to take a temperature too. You stick the thing in the ear, you push the start button, 4 seconds later it beeps, you look at the number. If it's 98.6 (+/- a degree), the kid does not have a fever. If they are saying their tummy hurts and you believe them, call mom to come get them. If they are throwing up all over the place, why are you taking a temp? No one cares if they have a fever IF THEY ARE PUKING! SEND THEM HOME!

Seriously, it's not like those germs just sit in the Trash Can, They Can Move,
Your Secretary Who is Not a Nurse and Can't Diagnose Kids

Paper Covered Light Switch Plate

I wanted to jazz up my light switch plates and outlet covers for my living make over, so I decided I needed some practice. Time to break out the Mod Podge! Wooo!

You could do with just scissors, but I am obsessed with my rotary cutter!

Here's what you need:

• Mod Podge (I had gloss. I wish I had matte. Why did I even buy gloss? I'm constantly saying I wish I had matte instead!)
• Brush
• Rotary mat, ruler, and cutter (you could use plain scissors, but I just love my rotary tools!)
• Scrapbooking or other cutesy printed paper
• Light switch plate

The first thing you are going to do is put your cover upside down on the back of your paper and trace it out. Make your trace a little bit bigger than your actual cover - you need enough paper to wrap around the edges!

I knew I was using my rotary tools to cut it out so I didn't care if my trace was straight. If you can't cut a straight line with scissors, try to make a better line than mine.

Cut out the trace.

Again, mine was measured out and made straight by my tools. You know whether or not you need them.

Paint the front of the cover with Mod Podge.

Make sure you get a nice coat on there

Now gently trim the excess paper from the switch BE CAREFUL because you might be like me and forget that the cutter can go through the paper, tin foil, and table cloth. Oops. Wrap the extra around the back so the whole plate front is covered including the edges

Don't be stupid. Use wax paper, not tin foil. You'll see why at the end.

Use a small blade tool to cut out the holes where your screws and switch go. You're going to want to fold in the paper on the rectangle where the switch goes, so don't completely cut the paper away.

I love these little blades. They sell them at the register at the fabric store. As if I needed something ELSE to give them money for...

Now coat the whole thing with Mod Podge and let it dry overnight ON WAX PAPER. I let mine dry on foil and that was a REALLY bad idea.

Now just screw it back into the wall and you're done! I shouldn't have dried mine on foil - when I went to get it up some of the paper stuck to the foil and so the top of my cover is missing its paper a little on one corner. Oh well, it still looks pretty good if you aren't right up on it!

Wax paper > tin foil for letting it dry

So not too bad for a quick and cheap make over for switch plates and outlet covers. And hey, if you hate it, they are like $1 at Wal-Mart - go buy a new one!

Open Letter #23

Dear People Who Use the Copier,

It's not that complicated. I let your students do it all the time. Put the paper down, close the top, press the green button.

If it misfeeds, it shows you where the problem is. Open the door, look for the giant white piece of paper, pull it out. If it doesn't want to come out, look for the bright turquoise parts of the machine. Pull that, then try it again.

If you tried to get it out and you can't, by all means come and get me. But please, please, PLEASE do not do the following:

• Walk off and leave it without trying to fix it or telling someone it's broken. 
• Pull so hard that the paper rips in half. Cause it is SO much harder to get it out then. And I might have to put in a service call which will mean 3-4 days of it being down.
• Open every place that might possibly open on it, then walk away and leave it wide open and exposed.
• Start yanking on black pieces. Black = don't touch. Turquoise = ok to touch.
• Find a screw driver and start performing surgery on it (I really wish I was kidding about that one, yes it has happened)
• Stick objects into it trying to retrieve the scraps of paper now stuck in it you created when you attempted to rip out the jam. I'm looking at you, paper clips and needle nose pliers.

And last, but certainly not least:

Do not come into my office and say "Mrs. Stewart, the copier is broke. I don't know what's wrong with it, it just made a beeping noise so I came up here to tell you. I need you to come fix it right now because I need that stuff I was copying right this second so please drop what you are doing and come make it work because I know you have NOTHING better to do than work on the freaking copier all day long because I can't figure out how to open the door and pull out the piece of paper like the picture showed me to do!!!"


Ahem. Sorry about that.

So in the future, please attempt to at least try to solve it before you come to me and I have to drop everything and go open the door, pull out the paper, and walk away 3 seconds later.

I Still Love You,
Your Secretary Who, Contrary to Popular Belief, DOES Occasionally Do Things OTHER Than Copier Rescuing.

Chuck E Cheese at Forest Heights

Usually you take your school kids to see Chuck E. Cheese.

Today, he came to see us.

I don't mean this kind.

I mean this kind.

More Quilt Blocks! Yay!

So it's that time again! Gotta do my block for the week for the Quilt Along I'm doing.

So next on the list are blocks 3 & 4. I am now in love with spray starch. Why, you ask?

Open Letter #22

Dear Walgreens,

All I wanted was some buy one get one half off shampoo.

But no.

You just HAD to let me wander over to the nail polish section. Where you just HAD to have like 30 different new shades and designs of Sally Hansen Nail Strips. Which you KNOW I have an addiction to. And there was that cute plaid one. And the stripey one. And like 4 new glittery ones. Oh, and this one.

Thanks a lot. Now my hair is clean AND I have new nail polish. It's like I'm turning into a girl or something.

Ignore the Typos Because it's Hard to Type with Freshly Redone Nails,

The Chick Rocking the Above Pictured Style

Deadliest Catch

Well, my kid brought home a permission slip so I signed it. Then I asked what it was for.

Oh.

It was permission to bring home these guys from his school science kit.

You might not be able to tell, but yes, those are fiddler crabs.

Well, if we are going to be crab owners, we might as well have fun with it, right? So I cobbled together some basic supplies and prayed for my child's sake they would make it through the weekend.

Well considering I did 17 minutes of research on Google and the fact that I have seen all 7 seasons of Deadliest Catch on Netflix, we should be good to go, right? Please note, if you haven't watched Deadliest Catch, the rest of this post is going to make you wonder if I am on crack, because it is NOT going to make any sense.

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-E

BOTH my boys are in the school spelling bee this year. Yay!

(Teachers I work with might want to skip the next paragraph)

This is funny to me because:
a) spelling is not something we practice at home
b) I think spelling homework past 2nd grade or so is a complete waste of time
c) The only reason I make them do spelling homework is because they need to learn to do what the person in authority tells them to do, even if they don't see the point in it.

Now of course my KIDS don't know how I feel about spelling homework. They think they better do it and do it well each and every day. But I'm pretty sure there have been times they turned it in incomplete or misspelled because I didn't bother to do more than glance to see they had attempted it before signing off on it.

Anyway, back to the spelling bee.

Crayon Canvas Art

I saw it on Pinterest and thought "this is the coolest thing EVER and I HAVE to have one on the wall at the end of my hall between the kids' rooms. That's right, it's the melted crayon canvas!

So I looked around until I found this awesome tutorial on the Whatever blog (seriously, check that blog out. I need more hours in a day so I can do all that cool stuff).

Basically, you just hot glue crayons to a canvas and heat them with a hair dryer until they get all melty and splatter or drip down your canvas. Then you hang it up and go blog about it! Yay!

Well I WAS president of the Future Homemakers of America, afterall...

Recently I decided I was going to learn to quilt. Because, um...yeah. I just did. So I'm doing this quilt along by Jenna at SewHappyGeek. I was late to the party (they are already on their 8th block), but that's ok, because they are going a week at a time and I doubt I can keep up with that pace once we get past the easy blocks anyway. So it should be fun. We'll see...

Here's my first 2 blocks! You can find the directions and a step-by-step tutorial on how to make them here.

(Yes, I am super proud of them. And they only took me like 5 hours total to cut and piece both of them)

World's Finest Fundraising

Chocolate. I like it ok. I mean, I'm not one of those people who must have a steady supply of it OR ELSE but I'm probably not going to turn it down either. But selling it? Well, that's a whole 'nother story!

This stuff. Is amazing.

I mean, it's decent tasting and whatever, but in sheer profit value? It practically sells itself. We made gobs and gobs of money this year and last selling it, and all we had to do was bribe the kids with chance to win an iPod. I don't have my final totals in yet, but I expect it will be well over $5,000 profit once it is all said and done. Not bad for a school of only 450 students!

And as Captain Steve put it, "Mrs. Stewart, you look like one of those drug lords in those gansta movies I be watching counting up all yo money and stacking it up like that." Where's my luxury sedan with spinning rims? And my entourage? I was promised an entourage with this gig!

A Warning...

Mod Podge adheres to your fingernail polish. Then it snatches it off your nail when you are peeling the dried up goop off your fingers. If your nails peel like mine do, that means a layer of nail is coming off with the polish.

So FYI, either take all your nail polish off before you start your project or plan to redo your nails after (polish remover will get Mod Podge off too). Or learn to use Mod Podge without getting it all over yourself. (If you figure out how to do that let me know!)

Mod Podge Picture Frame

I decided I was going to learn to love Mod Podge. So I bought some. I got glossy, and now I wish I had gotten matte. Anyway, apparently I can think of a million different things to make with Mod Podge.

I bought a cheap wooden frame in the kids craft section at Wal-Mart for $1. I decided I wanted to Mod Podge with fabric. So I dug in my fabric stash and pulled out the CUTE yellow, black, and grey strips I was saving to make towel appliques with. I only needed a little bit of fabric, so I was ok with dipping into it.

Is this not the best fabric EVER?!

And so it begins...

Crafting World.

It started out as a simple tote bag that held cross stitching stuff. And then I sorta needed a sewing box. And then I sorta needed a sewing machine. And then I sorta needed another bag to hold all my scraps and remnants. And then I sorta needed a NEW sewing machine that could do fancy stitches. And then I had all these accessories like a rotary mat and ruler, various adhesives, the hot glue gun, etc etc etc. And now it has its own corner of the living room and a 3 towered shelving unit.

The beginning of the end right there

Pretty soon it's going to want its own room. I am officially turning into my mother.

Chicken Steven Not Only Ate, But Liked!

So tonight for dinner I decided to cook. My kids were very disappointed that the pizza delivery guy would be spending time with his OTHER families tonight. Anyway, I made Italian Chicken (that I bought on impulse in the cheese aisle at the store) and Roasted Potatoes (cause I saw them on Pinterest and, let's face it, Pinterest makes us ALL feel like we are crafting masters).

The chicken is on the left and the potato on the right. Stop laughing at me. I know they look the same in the photo.