Thomas and the Floor Mats

Sweet Tea. It's bad for kids. But good for community and spiritual growth.

If you give a kid a sweet tea in the backseat of your brand new-to-you minivan on a hot day, there is about a 75% chance of that tea getting dropped into the floorboard of said brand new-to-you minivan. Hopefully you will retain your composure enough to a) not cause a wreck and b) not beat your kid after you get pulled over so you can attempt to mop up the soggy mess until you can get home to clean it out. Oh and of course you will have 3 napkins and a used kleenex to do this with.

Anyway.

When we got home, Thomas had to take the floor mat out and scrub it so the mess wouldn't get worse. And since it's a gorgeous day outside, that means bare feet and dish soap in the driveway.

So we drag out the mat (Ewww it's all sticky and gross!!!) and turn on the hose (Mom, why is the water spraying everywhere around the trigger thing? A gasket? What the heck is a gasket?!) and proceed to wet the mat.

"Now Thomas, " I tell him, in my best Mom the Teacher voice, "you need to wet the mat down first with the mist setting, then put some dish soap on it and scrub the whole mat with the brush, and then rinse the soap and dirt away. Then we'll leave it in the sun to dry and it will be good as new."

So I go in the house for five minutes because I know he's going to get completely soaked and I'll be fighting the urge to tell him he's doing it wrong. (I mean seriously Leah, how can you wash a floor mat wrong, cut the kid some slack)

When I come back out he is just finishing up rinsing it.

"Oh hey Mom," he greets me, with his best Thomas the Responsible Preteen voice, "I'm almost finished washing the mat. But I bet you are wondering why I changed the setting on the hose." I wasn't, I was actually wondering how he managed to get more water on himself than on the mat and driveway combined. "Well you see, we started out with mist, and that was all well and fine and all, but once we started scrubbing up the mess with the soap and the brush, the mist wasn't going to wash all the soap off the mat, and what it DOES wash off isn't going to take the dirt with it. So I switched to the full setting. This setting lets me get straight to the soap and dirt and get them out of the carpet but it doesn't blast the carpet into smithereens like the jet setting would do. It's just like Pastor Brian was saying at church this morning. When you are dealing with people in community, sometimes things get messy, just like when I dropped the tea in the car. So you have to help them clean it up. But you can't just dance around the problem they have and you can't just blast them with 'you need to do this to fix your problem, so just do it'. You have to use the right setting to help them clean up their mess."

When did he grow up so much?!

I am so very thankful that God has placed us where he has, in a community of believers who love my family and pour the truth of the Gospel into them. Who invest their time and talents into us. And who aren't afraid to use the full setting to help us get the sweet tea out of our floor mat lives.

Open Letter #27

Dear Office Supply Company,

First off, let me say I think your free shipping and almost always next day delivery are awesome. I also love that you have uber discounts for me and that you send me coupons almost every day. Your website is super easy to navigate, your search feature not only finds what I'm looking for but remembers what I've ordered so when I'm trying to find that particular quantity and brand of glue sticks it suggests them for me. I like that you give me $2 credit for every ink cartridge I send in. I like that my account rep seems genuinely interested in not only making the sale but also in cultivating a relationship with me and in helping me find ways to save money and stretch my budget.

That being said...

I need you to work on your online images. Because I can't SEE the construction paper I'm ordering and yes, it DOES matter what the actual color is.

Example:

This is Butterscotch

This is Orange

That's the same picture. And yes, it's the same brand. Which means it's NOT the same color. So Now I don't know which is orange and which is sort of orange. And if you are a teacher it matters. A lot apparently.  You should see the red. Holiday red is more like pinkish red while red is more like burgundy. You have to order red-orange to get the crayon definition of red. And when you buy it 200 packs at a time, you really need to get the right color, because people will just not use it and then you are stuck with a bunch of it left over that never gets used (I'm looking at you, Caramel, that actually turned out to be more like doo-doo brown).

So if you could just fix that one teensy weensy little thing we could go back to being madly in love.

Colorfully Yours,
The Secretary with a Closet Full of Doo-doo Brown and Lime Green Paper

Open Letter #26

Dear Once Every Four Year Voters,

You DO realize the polls are open more than just once every four years, right? And that there are elections EVERY year that affect you, your children, and your rights? And that it's your duty as an American citizen to go vote EVERY time the polls are open?

Your Opinion Only Matters to me 1/4 of the Time,
A Conscientious Voter

Open Letter #25

Dear People Who Like to be Popsicles,

I have a space heater now. Which I am running. Even though it is 90 degrees outside. So there.

Better Luck Freezing Me Out Next Time,
The Only One NOT Going Through "The Change" (apparently)